Under The Blue Moon
by thefatedx
Summary: Remus smiles a sad smile, he was so distracted by his memories of Sirius. Back then he had felt so sad, and he appeared at the right time to make him laugh with his antics. This is a story about Remus and Sirius. Remus/Sirius SLASH


**Under The Blue Moon**

**Summary: **Remus smiles a sad smile, he was so distracted by his memories of Sirius. Back then he had felt so sad, and he appeared at the right time to make him laugh with his antics. **This is a story about Remus and Sirius SLASH**

**Please Enjoy!**

oooooo

Sirius Black was laughing, and to each side of him was a girl smiling towards him in a flirtatious manor, wanting to capture his attention with sweetened empty words and compliments. He had one arm resting on the shoulder of each of the girls. He winked at both of them.

Remus watchedthe group in disgust, feeling a sharp pain in his chest. It's not the first time that a similar scene appeared before his eyes.

Irritated, Remus shuts his book with more force than he intended. A small cloud of dust rised into the air, causing Remus to emerge into a coughing fit. The sound caused Sirius' 'friends', on either side of him, to turn their attention to him, surprised by the outburst. One of the girls looks at him, scowling.

Sirius suddenly aimed his attention towards Remus, his eyes narrowing. It seemed like he wanted to ask a question. Not feeling in the mood Remus gets up from the chair where he had been sitting, and he strided out of the room like a hurricane. With fingers clenched tightly the edge of the book, he repeatedly told himself that he should stop feeling like this, because if Sirius kept on doing this, he might break. Wait, No, he told himself. He should try and maintain strength, try to make the tears that threaten to leave not achieve their goal.

Remus ran from the castle at full speed. The cold wind hits his face but he hardly noticed it. Walking in strides, he heads to a place near the river. It was his refuge, when he needed to be calm, thinking, being alone.

Remus suddenly fell to the ground and embraced his knees. A single tear trickles down his cheek, until lost in the fabric of his tunic.

The wind whipped his face again. Suddenly, he felt distressed. The scent reminded him the day he realized that he wanted Sirius more than as a friend. Autumn leaves and pine wood.

It was like back then, the nostalgic orange sunset flared before his eyes. But back then, he was not alone. He was with him. Sirius. He held his head low, he could admire the beauty of this natural phenomenon.

Remus smiles a sad smile, he was so distracted by his memories of Sirius. Back then he had felt so sad, and he appeared at the right time to make him laugh with his antics. It had cost him time to get off that heaviness he felt, but when he did, the satisfied smile that spread over his face had been so beautiful and bright that he managed to catch Remus' breath. That smile had been the cause of the increase in his heart rate. The cause of his silly laugh, his eyes shining.

He remembered how the world was changing around anybody realizing. He spent much of that time feeling so hopeless and lovesick. Now he had to live with it every day.

He wanted to let his burden go, but he couldn't stop loving him, nor could he tell anyone else... Who could he tell? It was embarrassing, personal and secret. And remained so until now. He have not told anyone, nor plan to. That was his own secret. His.

The light of the setting sun, orange, caresses his face, reminding him again of that time, long ago. What could they be talking about? He couldn't remember. Perhaps Quidditch. Perhaps the next Hogsmeade weekend, or the last joke they were planning. He wasn't sure, but one things for sure, he knew they were having a great time.

Remus and Sirius had laughed merrily, sometimes loudly, as the last rays of the sun creating patterns of light on the glassy surface of the lake. How long has it been? Over a year, for sure.

In his mind, the image of the big smile reflected in those gray eyes, made his heart to increase its rate, blood pumping faster. It had been the same as now. That feeling of warmth, mixed with the lack of air and the sudden happiness that had seized on every corner of his being.

That was the moment when he realized he was in love.

His heart is squeezed, because he knew that it can never be. Remus' love will never be returned. It is impossible.

It was strange. He always wanted to fall in love, to know what it felt like. It was all his friends had ever done, everyone's comments on it were they wanted to be a victim of that experience. Before no one had ever caught his attention and made him feel the butterflies in the stomach that supposedly he should feel. Was there something wrong with him? Why could not fall in love?

Depression took over his mind, and made him stray away from his friends, sinking into his own thoughts, until he appeared. Sirius. What was this feeling so nice and yet so painful that extended his being?

Then he realized, yes, indeed he was in love.

But he was afraid. Afraid to accept what he felt. Afraid of losing his best friend. Afraid of being hated and hating himself.

Why? Why did he have to fall for him?

He sighs. Long, steep, as if to bring out your inner all her memories and feelings. He expelled the air and the wind took them away, he wanted everything to go away, wanted it to disappear. Memories...

Memories he has stood for more than a year.

When in love, Remus thought it would hurt a while, but then get used and the pain of his heart, and it would decrease with the passage of days.

He would never be more wrong.

At first, he couldn't stand the sight of him flirting with other girls, kissing, caressing. He gathered all his courage to realize that his feelings would never be reciprocated. He repeated the words to himself over and over again that no matter, he was fine, he could not do anything about it. He was content to be able to look at Sirius every day, regardless whether he was with him.

But it not improve. In fact, it got worse, and now the mere sight of him with someone else makes his breathing quicken, and eyes narrow.

Distracted, Remus lifted his head to look around. He had noticed something different about the smell of the wind. He looked upon the light on the horizon, the sun hidden and after it. The night slowly begins to take over the sky, and he shudders. He had forgotten that it was cold and he is without a coat.

A chill ran down his spine, and he buries his head in his arms, trying to keep warm.

An unexpected frost raindrop falls on his neck and jumps up, startled and surprised.

Looking around he realizes that a storm is coming. Remus felt the air and the characteristic smell of rain. He began to hear the sound of the drops crashing into the lake water.

He smiles. That time had passed something similar. He and Sirius were laughing like crazy, and out of nowhere a cloud hovered over them, pouring over them furiously, drenching their clothes. They laughed even more as they ran for cover, trying not to slip on wet grass or mud that had formed in their way.

His heart jumped before it squeezed in his chest. Almost suddenly, as if it were an instinct, he suddenly felt the urge to see him. It didn't matter if he was with those girls, or if he was alone, or even sleeping. The urge to see him was too strong.

He suddenly ran full speed across the grass, earning a few falls before finally arriving at his destination.

The guard yells horrified, complaining about muddy footprints that leaves behind. He continues running despite him. He ran faster, up the stairs and under the watchful eyes of the portraits. Some students get out of their way when they notice Remus' track is covered in water and mud.

By this time Remus was still panting, but he didn't care. He needed to find Sirius. Locating the girls who had been flirting with Sirius earlier, he suddenly felt a knot in the stomach, which was loosened when he noticed that they were no longer with him. A sudden relief washes over him as he climbed the stairs to the boys' room.

He ran past so many doors, and not stopping until he reached his. And the one who shares the room with him. With him and his two best friends, of course.

Breathe deeply, he told himself.

Pushing the door open with trembling fingers, he enters the room. A sense of peace and stillness overwhelms him, making note that his companions are asleep.

How long had he been out? More than he had thought, for sure.

Feeling a little uneasy, his eyes fall upon Sirius' sleeping face. He bites his lip, uncertainly, and looks down at the floor.

Open your eyes Remus! Realize you're messing around he told himself. He pulled out his wand from his pocket, and with a move, he cleaned his tracks and clothing. Observing closely, he winces. Was he really so dirty?

Without thinking too much, he rushes to the bathroom, where he takes a long shower, weighing what he would do next.

He can't keep putting it off. Obviously, his feelings would not go away, and keeping it to himself for so long was not healthy. He could not bear to see Sirius and pretend that all is well.

Remus excited the shower with his decision reflected in his face. He dries his hair without much care and wears his blue pajamas. He looked into the mirror at his amber eyes, and tried to achieve a serious expression.

'Listen, Remus' Remus tells his reflection, who looks so stern. Tomorrow, tell him how you feel, and after that you will mourn or regret everything.

The mirror nods once, accepting the order, though eyes shining full of apprehension. He felt his muscles tense before leaving the bathroom and falling into his bed.

Remus span around into his sheets, uncomfortably , until finally managed to fall asleep.

ooooo

Remus' eyes awakened to the warm rays of the morning sun entering through the windows.

His eyes glanced towards Sirius, who was still laying on his bed. Sirius' body suddenly shifted turned, until it was facing towards his direction.

'Sirius...' Remus said in his head.

Remus observed the face he'd loved for so many years. He shifted his eyes towards his jawline... then down to his neck. His chest was heaving up and down slowly... peacefully.

'I love you so damn much.' he said in his head.

Remus felt his muscles tense as he stood from his bed, approaching Sirius.

He must have made too much noise because Sirius' eyes suddenly snapped open, full of alarm.

"Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Remus?" He repeated.

"I-" Remus was shaking. His cheeks were blaring a bright red, heart pumping loudly. He couldn't chicken out now. He needed to tell him his feelings. Remus' resolution grew stronger and stronger until he finally made the awaited words.

He summoned up his courage and looked at Sirius with bright eyes, hands trembling.

**"I love you."**

ooooo

**The End! **

**Thank you for reading! So what did you think? Perhaps you want a part 2? Constructive criticism is welcome!**


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